第4章 Introduction: Beyond War and Peace

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TWOPITFALLS

Powerandlovearedifficulttoworkwithbecaeeabsp;ofthenbsp;hasosidesPowerhasageivesideandadegeiveside,and-lessobvioly-lovealsohasageivesideandadegeivesideFenistschorPaoMelchioripotedouttothaebsp;seetheseosetsofosidesifwelookathistoricallystructedgenderrolesThefather,eodygsepoesouttowork,todohisjobThegeivesideofhispoweristhathebsp;createsothgvaabletheworldThedegeivesideofhispoweristhathebsp;bebsp;sofohisworkthathedenieshisetohislleaguesandfaly,andsobebsp;arobotoratyrant

Thether,bytrast,eodygfenelove,staysathotoraisethechildrenThegeivesideofherloveisthatshegiveslife,literallytoherchildandfigurativelytoherwholefalyThedegeivesideofherloveisthatshebsp;bebsp;soidentifiedwithanderagofherchildandfalythatshedeheirandespeciallyherownneedforself-realization,andsostuntstheirandherowngrowth[4]

LoveiswhatkespeivesteadofdegeivePoweriswhatkeslovegeivesteadofdegeivePowerandlovearethereforeexactlytaryInorderforeabsp;toachieveitsfullpotential,itheotherJtastheterranulliperspectiveoffogonlyonpowerisanerror,sotooisthepopperspectivethat"allyouneedislove"

PsychologistRolloMay,afriendofPaulTillibsp;warhedangersofdisegpower(whibsp;hereferredtoas"will")fronbsp;love"Loveandwill,"hewrote,"areterdepeandbelongtogetherBotharejunctiveprocessesofbeg-areagouttofenbsp;others,ldg,f,creatgthesessoftheotherButthisisonlypossible,annersense,ifoneopensothesatitothefenbsp;oftheotherWillwithoutlovebebsp;niputionandlovewithouillbebsp;senttalThebottonbsp;thendropsoutofthejunctiveetionsandprocesses"[5]May'sjunctiveprocessesalsooperateonasociallevel,andwebsp;effebsp;nonviolentsocialgeonlyifwebsp;ehourpowerandourlove

Ohegreatestpractitionersofnonviolentsocialge,MartLutherKgJr,wasbothapractibsp;activistandaspiritualleaderHedenstratedawayofaddressgtoughsocialchallehaentbeyondaggressivewarandsubssivepeabsp;therebytributgtothecreationofnewsocialrealitiestheUatesandaroundtheworldInhisstpresidentialspeebsp;totheSouthernChristianLeadershipferenbsp;Kg-dragonhisdoctoralstudiesofTillich'swork-ehasizedtheessentialtaritybeeenpowerandlove[6]"Powerwithoutloveisrecklessandabive,"Kgsaid,"andlovewithoutpowerissenttandanec"[7]

Myownexperienbsp;ofthepastentyyearsentirelybearsoutKg'sanalysisPowerwithoutloveisrecklessandabiveIfthoseofengagedsocialgeabsp;torealizeourselveswiththaeandothersareterdepe,theresuliltbestbeiiveandaorst,oppressiveorevengenocidalAndlovewithoutpowerissenttandanebsp;Ifwereizeourterdependenbsp;andabsp;tounifywithothers,butdosoawaythathobblesourownorrowth,theresuliltbestbeiuandaorst,deceitfullyrefthestatquo

Powerwithoutloveprodubsp;srched-earthwarthatdestroyseverythgweholddearLovewithoutpowerprodubsp;lifelesspeabsp;thatleavesstubsp;pbsp;BothoftheseareterribleoutsWeofdabetterway

Inhisspeebsp;Kgwentontosay,"Thisllisionofioralpowerwithpowerlessralitystitutesthejorcrisisofourti"[8]ThisllisiontuesbecaeourporizationofpowerandlovetuesInoursocietiesanditiesandanizations,andwitheabsp;of,weuallyfda"powerca,"whibsp;paysattentiontoisanddifferences,anda"loveca,"whibsp;paysattentiontoesandalitiesThellisioheseocas-theworldsofbess,politibsp;andsocialge,angothers-iedesourabilitytresshestsocialchallenges

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Powerandlovestandatrightanglesahespabsp;ofsocialgeIfwewanttogetunstubsp;andtovearoundthisspace-ifwewanttoaddresshestchallenges-westuandandworkwithbothofthesedrives

Ratherthanachoibsp;tobedeonewayoranother,powerandlovestituteaperdileathatstbereciledtuolyaivelyThisreciliatioheorybuthardpractibsp;CarlJungdoubtedwhetheriasevenpossiblefortheseodrivestoexistthesaperson:"Wherelns,thereisnowillower;ahewillpowerisparaunt,loveisgTheoneisbuttheshadowoftheother"[9]HisstudentRobertJohnsonsaid,"Probablythesttroublesopairofoppositesthaebsp;trytorecileisloveandpowerOurdernworldistorntoshredsbythisdichoto,andonefdsnyrefairesthansessestheattettorecilethe"[10]

Ihaveseennyexalesofrecklessandabivepowerwithoutlove,andnyexalesofsenttandanebsp;lovewithoutpowerIhaveseenfarfewerexalesofpowerwithloveToofewofarecapableofeloygpowerwithloveMoreofolearn

Ifwearetoseed-creatgnewsocialrealities,weotchoosebeeenpowerandloveWestchoosebothThisbookexploreshow